What's in a Name?
What's in a Name?
My name, at a surface level, is nothing more than a combination of symbols from the eyes perspective, or of vowels from the ear's. Yet, is the one characterization that is "set in stone". A name stays consistent from the moment you first open your eyes, to the moment you close them for the last time. This unchanging variable is defining of a person... the topic of the first question asked from a soon to be aquantence. A name is embarrassing to forget, more so than any other atribute ranging from appearence to age.
For something with such strong societal standing, you would think I hold it near and dear to my sense of self... but I don't. I wake up each day without giving a second thought to this labeling atribute. I may ponder over many other parts of my self. Light hearted variables, such as the state my hair is that morning, or characteristics of a more revealing natiure, such as whether my introversion will prove to be a obsticle that day. Characteristics such as these seem to hold much more merit to my identity in the moment they cross my mind. I fail to recognize that my identitly is more simplistic in nature, defined by a four letter word.
My internal disregard for my name is entirely different from the external significance my name holds to me. This, in a sense, seperates the individual from the greater whole. I have grown up in the theatre, where being bigger than life and outside of the comfort zone is encouraged and praised. But like in a show, I was taking on the personality of a character outside of myself. This facade limited my identity to being defined as the person other people observe me to be, as opposed to who I am internally. My dance teacher always tells me to "be a chamelion". He said this in reference to the dance industry, but I applied this phrase to all parts of my life it proves to be applicable. I learned to mold my personality to fit the situation I am in, which is what has allowed me to blend in and prevent any unwanted attention to being drawn.
Through the entirety of my life I have adopted this mindset. It wasn't until this year that I realized there was more to my identity than what the situation or other people demanded of me. I adopted the personal mantra "stop caring so damn much about what other people think". I pasted this quote on door frames, in my phone, and my car as a constant reminder. The "me" on the inside deserved a voice, no matter the situation. My constant need for validation was taking away from the strength in my own thoughts and opinions. While I have not perfected this mindset, I am working diligently to finally begin to put myself first.
For something with such strong societal standing, you would think I hold it near and dear to my sense of self... but I don't. I wake up each day without giving a second thought to this labeling atribute. I may ponder over many other parts of my self. Light hearted variables, such as the state my hair is that morning, or characteristics of a more revealing natiure, such as whether my introversion will prove to be a obsticle that day. Characteristics such as these seem to hold much more merit to my identity in the moment they cross my mind. I fail to recognize that my identitly is more simplistic in nature, defined by a four letter word.
My internal disregard for my name is entirely different from the external significance my name holds to me. This, in a sense, seperates the individual from the greater whole. I have grown up in the theatre, where being bigger than life and outside of the comfort zone is encouraged and praised. But like in a show, I was taking on the personality of a character outside of myself. This facade limited my identity to being defined as the person other people observe me to be, as opposed to who I am internally. My dance teacher always tells me to "be a chamelion". He said this in reference to the dance industry, but I applied this phrase to all parts of my life it proves to be applicable. I learned to mold my personality to fit the situation I am in, which is what has allowed me to blend in and prevent any unwanted attention to being drawn.
Through the entirety of my life I have adopted this mindset. It wasn't until this year that I realized there was more to my identity than what the situation or other people demanded of me. I adopted the personal mantra "stop caring so damn much about what other people think". I pasted this quote on door frames, in my phone, and my car as a constant reminder. The "me" on the inside deserved a voice, no matter the situation. My constant need for validation was taking away from the strength in my own thoughts and opinions. While I have not perfected this mindset, I am working diligently to finally begin to put myself first.
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